I’ve started an exercise routine of swimming to the lighthouse and back. (Actually, it’s not really a lighthouse—it’s more of a light-tower.) It’s probably close to a kilometre away, and takes me about 45 minutes, depending on the wind, waves, and tide.

But that’s not the point.

The point is that my swim—at least my experience of the swim—has actually become quite relaxed. (Mentally, not physically—’cause I AM still working pretty hard.)

Which means I don’t suffer as much as I used to. True, it’s partly due to physical conditioning—but it’s mostly due to my way of thinking.

Let me explain.

You see, I’ve stopped resisting being face-down in the water.”

“What?!”, you say. “Of course you don’t resist being face-down in the water—you’re a swimmer!”

Ah, but I’m talking about subtle resistance.

For example, am I lying COMPLETELY horizontally in the water (face-down)? Are my neck and shoulders completely relaxed? What about when I go to breathe—do I try to lift my head out of the water, or do I simply rotate it?

To the degree that I’m not doing these things, I’m resisting lying face down in the water.

Now it’s totally understandable, of course. I mean—every few strokes I’m faced with not being able to breathe…which, let’s face it, is a bit of a pickle. So of course my natural tendency is to resist—to some degree—TOTALLY submerging my head in the water, TOTALLY letting go and letting gravity pull me down.

But that’s exactly what I NEED to do to be an efficient swimmer. And—as it turns out—it’s also exactly how to eliminate the “suffering”.

How did I have this breakthrough? I worked my way backwards through the “think. be. do. have.” paradigm to discover what was going on:

Once I got all this, I was like, “Dude—it’s OK, I totally get it. It’s totally natural to be afraid. And it’s OK that you’re afraid.”

And after I sat with that for a bit, I was able to re-create the way I looked at swimming.

What a perfect metaphor for life, no?!

So I asked myself, “What am I resisting in my life?”

Well for one thing, I’m constantly resisting failing, looking bad, getting it wrong, etc… And it’s frickin’ exhausting! Not to mention inefficient. It leaves me struggling and not enjoying the journey.

Now I remind myself to stop resisting and totally relax into the idea there’s no such thing as failing—and it completely lights me up! And I move through my day much more efficiently and effortlessly!

What about you? Is there an area where you have limited results? Where perhaps you’re resisting something and limiting your experience of personal power, freedom and joy?

Try relaxing into whatever it is that you’re resisting, and see if it makes a difference. I bet it will.

With all the breakdowns going on in our world today—financial, environmental, social, political—it’s real easy for us to fall into an “us and them” mindset (the perp’s and the victims).

Actually, scratch that. We’re already IN that mindset. And that—I think—is a big part of the problem.

We point to the rich and powerful—and the poor and impoverished; we point to the greedy war-mongers—and us, their victims. We accuse the “people in power” of being dishonest and wrecking our world and our lives.

We shake our heads in disbelief when we find out THEY lied to us, or took advantage of us. On and on, variations on a theme—”us and them”.

But I think this mindset—of “us” and “them” perpetuates the madness in our world and holds us prisoner to it. I think this point of view is what makes all this craziness even possible!

Because it makes us victims and removes OUR responsibility for the community, country and world we live in.”

It distracts us from what will REALLY make a difference and create a breakthrough for our world—and that is discovering, acknowledging, and transforming the greed, selfishness, dishonesty, and fear in our OWN hearts.

We’re living in the shadow of “us and them” when we cut someone off in traffic—thinking (consciously or subconsciously) that we’ll be damned if we’re gonna let somebody get ahead of us.

Or when we don’t tell the cashier that she gave us an extra $5—thinking, “cool—I just got some extra money, too bad for her when she cashes out and comes up short”.

Or when we don’t tell our partner that we did something we promised not to do—thinking that it doesn’t really matter, or that we’ll protect them, they don’t really need to know.

I mean seriously, would we act any differently if WE were “in power’? It’s very easy to point to the “splinter” in other people’s eyes (e.g. the “people in power”), and ignore the “board” in our own.

But just imagine—what if each of us acted like we are all connected. That what we do matters, and that we have an impact on those around us and on our environment.

What if every single one of us took responsibility, in our daily lives, for living with integrity, honesty, courage, forthrightness, caring for others and our planet?”

Would we continue to consume way more than we produce? Would we turn a blind eye to the environment? Would we continue to support—either economically or politically—those systems and people that are willing to sacrifice our precious planet for short-term gain? Would we be defensive and closed in our relationships?

Or would we be generous, open, honest, compassionate, loving…knowing that “you” and “I” are fundamentally connected, and that we have the same needs.

AND—if we were being THIS way, would the madness around us even be possible? Would these “people in power” even BE in power if we didn’t support them—either by electing them or buying merchandise from the corporations that put them in power?

If we were to recognize that in a very real way we ARE them, we would create a very different world. A world that works for everyone. Because we ARE everyone.

The first step is being willing to turn our attention inwards. To discover and acknowledge the “board” in our own eye. Because by healing and transforming ourselves, and breaking through our own barriers, we can “be the change we want to see in the world” and thereby create a world that works for each one of us.

You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope [today] you’ll join us, and the world will be as one.” ~ John Lennon

Today I’m taking on being more forthright and honest in my communication (while still being loving)—saying what I think and feel, without worrying about getting it right or what they’ll think of me.

What’s something you can do today that will transform some of your fear and bring more freedom and joy into your life?

Except if I get stressed about it. Then, it’s not such a good thing.

But when that happens, I know it’s become more of a “need” than a “want”. Like I need to get it right—I need things to work out a certain way (to be happy).

And of course I know THAT doesn’t work (I’m a Life Coach, after all—duh), but sometimes knowing makes no difference.

Like lately—I noticed that I’ve been trying really hard to get this whole social media marketing thing down. (Ah—notice the word “try”? That’s always a sure sign that something’s up.)

Trying to figure out if it’s worth taking the time to build a Google+ profile, trying to make my blog posts more visible, wondering if I should create a group in LinkedIn (oops—there’s the word “should”—another sign something’s up…), etc…

Now again, there’s nothing wrong with having goals and taking certain actions to achieve certain results. It’s just the feeling stressed part that doesn’t work so well.

So I took a closer look and dug a little deeper to discover what was REALLY causing me stress; and—surprise, surprise—there was my attachment to the outcome.

I was putting “getting it right” before my joy.”

(The irony here is that social media is all about connecting with people—which is what I care about, and what brings me great joy!)

Sheesh!

Through experience, I’ve come to the understanding that attaching my feelings to external outcomes doesn’t work very well. What I didn’t know was there’s a bunch of scientific evidence for it, as well.

Like this TED talk by Shawn Achor that I just saw. It’s brilliant—it’s all about the HUGE value of (and scientific evidence for) reversing the “success first, then happiness” formula that most of us have had deeply ingrained in our psyche.

For example, did you know that dopamine doesn’t only make us feel happier—it also turns on all our learning centres and makes us more efficient, more intelligent, and more likely to BE successful at whatever we’re doing.

Choosing to shift our point of view and get happy BEFORE we’re successful actually helps us BE successful!”

So—I’ve turned this thing around (my social media marketing situation). I’ve shifted my point of view—by first acknowledging what I’m grateful for (this is usually where I start).

For example, I’m grateful for the opportunity to build a coaching and diving business that I enjoy and am passionate about; and for having people in my life that I can share what’s important to me (that’s you).

So I’ll continue to just keep doing my best—and the outcome will be the outcome. And in the meantime, I’ll be joyful. ‘Cause joy is, after all, the point!

What about you—is there anywhere in your life where putting the “success” cart before the “joy” horse is causing you stress?

If so, I’d like to hear about it. I’ve found that sharing can be a huge help in getting clear on what’s going on for us. And it’s a great way to connect with—and bring us closer to—each other.

I’ve had a bit of a wake-up call.

I generally don’t watch the news—or listen to it on the radio, or read it on the internet. And I seldom participate in conversations about what’s going on in the world (although I occasionally sign a petition that comes my way).

I thought it worked to ignore what was going on and just focus on my own personal growth. You know—face my fears, choose Love, be inspired, be joyful, “be the change…”, transcend the conflict and suffering in the world, and create joy in my world…

Now don’t get me wrong, there’s a great deal of truth in this. However, I now see a “pollyannish ostrich” side to it.

I’m realizing this is not just about transcendence—it’s also about denial and staying “safe”.”

But given that “we” is “me”, it really isn’t workable. Or even authentic.

I mean if everyone just focused on discovering their own inner fears, took responsibility for their own anger, sadness, inspiration, joy, acted in a way that was respectful of others and the planet…well, actually—that would be frickin awesome!

The thing is—how is everyone going to arrive at this place of consciousness and choose to live this way?

So I started looking at how the breakthrough process I use in my own life (and with my clients) would apply to the collective.

So how are we collectively going to arrive at a higher level of consciousness? I’ll tell you how. With our help. With my help. By me sharing this process, this way of living, with those who don’t yet see it. Not only by BEING an example—but by SPEAKING up and saying…

This is our Shadow side, people. And it’s OK. This is part of who we are right now. Let’s own it. Let’s face and step through our Fear. Let’s choose to accept and Love ourselves anyway.”

We (I) can’t solve the financial, environmental and social issues we (I) have today, if we (I) don’t acknowledge “what’s so” in the collective and show Love to ourselves anyway.

We won’t be able to shift our collective point of view, or create a new experience of ourselves and our planet, or take new actions, or enjoy a world that works for everyone—unless and until we (I) take this step.

So when this non-political documentary on the people and culture of Iran came across my path, my first reaction was to ignore it. I could immediately feel our collective fear around Iran, and I just didn’t want to go there.

(“I mean, those people are crazy, right?! Don’t they want to blow the “Satanic” west to smithereens!”)

But by not watching and sharing the video (and, for that matter, keeping my mouth shut that I think it’s likely that war with Iran is about protecting US financial interests rather than defending against nuclear weapons), I realized I’d be putting my head in the sand. Again.

So I watched the video (at the end of the article). And I saw more evidence that we really are all brothers and sisters, and in our hearts we don’t want to kill each other. We just want to love and be loved for who we are. We want peace for our families, for our children.

Government has a lot of war with each other, because they have benefits. But there is no war between people. They are friends with each other. They should be friends. Unfortunately in Iran politics and religion are mixed with each other. And it’s the main problem. And it’s the main point of that distance between people and government.” ~ Iranian Woman

By writing this article and sharing this documentary with you, I have begun to lend my voice to the growing chorus of people committed not only to transcending personal Fear, but collective Fear—and to actively creating a world of peace, freedom and joy for all!

What are you doing—or willing to do—to lend your voice? We need you too!

NOTE: Artist Sayaka Ganz sees a second life in discarded objects (i.e. garbage), as seen in the picture above.

Every morning here on the bay island of Utila, I walk to where our property meets the sea—to a nice secluded little spot—and I meditate.

Often a strong warm wind is blowing from the east—where the sun is rising over the sea. With the waves rolling in and the mountains of the mainland rising in the distance, it’s a glorious setting in which to meditate, pray, and give thanks.

Except—there’s a bunch of garbage on the ground mixed in with the driftwood that has blown in from the sea.

It seems a common attitude here on Utila (in Honduras, where I’m currently teaching and diving—not where I’m holding the program) is to just throw your garbage on the ground—or in the water. And a lot of it washes up on the shore.

Plastic bottles, flip flops, tooth brushes, tooth paste tubes, laundry detergent containers, broken pieces of tables, styrofoam, shoes, oil cans, plastic bags, candy wrappers, egg cartons, etc…

My reaction when I first came to the island was anger—and then sadness. I mean, how can people just DO that?! How can they ruin such a beautiful place?

However—as you probably know by now—I believe that my point of view creates how I feel (which then drives my behaviour, when then to a great extent produces the results in my life).

So this morning when I went to meditate, I did something new. I looked at the garbage from a new point of view.”

I picked up a plastic pop bottle and looked at it closely. I looked at the ridges that gave it strength, I saw how it tapered at the neck to make a small opening so it would be easier to pour out the liquid without spilling it all over the place, and I noticed the threads to screw on the cap to seal it.

And I thought about what it had taken to produce this bottle.

First there was the idea, the intention. Long before it was ever produced, it was just an idea. And then that idea—through the incredible ingenuity, perseverance, and collaboration of men and women—became a reality.

I thought about all the equipment and machinery that were required to produce and transport the raw materials for the plastic, to manufacture the bottle, to fill it with something delicious, and, finally, to transport it to the store—so someone could enjoy drinking from it.

In that moment, what I saw in the bottle was not the carelessness (and even blatant disregard for the environment) of the person who threw away the bottle, but the creativity, intelligence, passion, and commitment that brought that bottle into existence.

I saw a bottle that gave someone the joy and satisfaction of quenching their thirst on a hot day.

I was totally inspired by our collective brilliance. I smiled. Nothing had changed around me, but my experience completely shifted. I wasn’t sad or angry—I was joyful!”

(Don’t get me wrong—of course I advocate being responsible with our environment, and being aware of how our actions impact our environment, and acting accordingly. AND—it’s important to recognize that we can have the experience we want WHILE we take action. And the experience I want is joy!)

This experience reminded me of what Anais Nin said—“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

In this time of great change and upheaval in our world, what do you see?

I was teaching my diving students the other day about buoyancy, and it occurred to me that it could be a great metaphor for moving through life.

When diving, we carry weights to take us down to where we want to go—and we use air (which is light and buoyant) to balance that weight (so we don’t go deeper than we want).

When diving, if we’re too heavy OR too “floaty” it takes a real effort to swim around and check out the scenery (say, for example, that cool little Sea Horse hiding in the coral). We can’t just relax and enjoy the experience.

When there is a balance between the weight and the air, we are neutrally buoyant.”

Let’s say land represents what’s familiar to us (our comfort zone), and the sea represents the unknown. (Not much of a stretch so far…)

And let’s say we’re creating something new in our lives and entering new and unfamiliar territory. Could be a new relationship, a new career, a new project, a new business, whatever.

Just like our weight takes us to the depth we want to go when diving, our actions take us further into new territory (e.g. a business venture).

And just like we need the air to balance our weight, we need to have faith—(in the Universe, or God, or our higher Self, or whatever is true for you) that things will work out and that our needs will be met—to balance our actions.

As I build Breakthrough Adventures, I know when I don’t have enough faith—when I’m taking lots of actions, but not trusting that things will work out—it’s just not fun. I find myself sinking into the unknown, afraid, struggling, not appreciating the beauty and awesomeness around me.

And conversely, when I’m not taking enough actions—when I’m just sitting back expecting the Universe to hand me what I want—I find things just don’t happen, and it’s a struggle to move the biz forward into new territory.

Either way—whether I don’t have enough faith or am not taking enough action—it’s a struggle. Just like in diving.

BUT—when I’m in action AND I’m trusting that the universe is conspiring in my favour, then I’m at peace. I’m neutrally buoyant.”

And I’m joyful. I appreciate the wonder and excitement of the journey, the beauty of the scenery. I’m present, aware and happy. Totally inspired, and able to just relax and hang out, exploring a new and unfamiliar space, taking it all in.

Do you ever feel under or over-weighted? Is there an area of your life where you’re not quite neutrally buoyant? If so, now you know why. You may just need to be a little more in action—or maybe you just need to have a little more faith.

Most of us have some fear or anxiety around diving in the open water.

And for obvious reasons—the sea is an inhospitable and dangerous environment; there are strange and vicious creatures lurking just out of view, waiting to maim or devour us; our equipment might malfunction at any moment; the vastness, power and capriciousness of the sea are too much, and we are just too vulnerable. Or something like that.

Which is totally reasonable.

Except—this is just a point of view, it’s not the “truth”. Granted—it may be a pretty convincing and familiar point of view. But it’s a point of view, nonetheless.

Which means there are others.

For example, my client Angela (not her real name) went from a similar point of view—one that had her feel anxious and stressed whenever she thought about diving—to one that had her experience the sea as gentle, and calm, full of wonder and beauty; a point of view that had her feel embraced by the sea, at peace and in harmony with it’s inhabitants.

How is this possible?

Well, once we recognize that our experience (and our actions and circumstances, to a great extent) all flow from our point view, once we recognize that ultimately WE create our experience of ourselves and our world, this is what becomes possible—a complete and profound shift!

What peace and joy became possible for Angela!”

Something that previously caused her fear and anxiety suddenly brought her joy; an area in which she was totally stressed was now something with which she was at peace.

(Note: while we immediately create a new experience for ourselves by choosing a new point of view, it takes choosing it over time to make the new point of view a HABIT; and it takes ACTIONS aligned with the new point of view to produce new results.)

How do YOU feel about scuba diving? Is it something you’d love to be able to do, but are afraid? If it is, do you want to break through your fear—and transform your experience from stress and anxiety to freedom and joy? (Or are there any other areas of your life where you’d like to do this?)

If so, take a look at your underlying point of view. It’s amazing what becomes possible, when you change it.

In the movie Star Wars, Yoda said, “Do, or do not. There is no try.”

I think he said this to Luke Skywalker when Luke had to salvage his spaceship from the bog it had sunk into. Luke was “trying” to use the Force to lift the spaceship—and wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to do it.

“There is no try.”

But—I think Yoda didn’t have it quite right. I think there IS a “try”. The “try” is that experience of anxiety that comes from living inside the story, “I better succeed, or I’m !@#%ed”. (And—when we’re in it—that story is as real to us as anything else.)

The story begins with, “I want—or need—something specific to happen as a result of what I’m doing”. And continues with, “My identity—my self-worth— is attached to this specific result”.

This story is what connects my experience to the outcome of my efforts—it’s what has me feel good if things work out, bad if things don’t, and anxious or stressed in the meantime.

For Luke, the outcome was getting his ship out of the bog. And he was so stressed about failing, he couldn’t use the Force.”

This story, this belief that my own value is attached to the success of my efforts, leaves me feeling afraid, stressed and unhappy. “What if I fail? Then I’m no good. I won’t be accepted, or loved. I won’t be of value.”

It takes me out of the moment, disconnecting me from what I’m doing—and what’s happening—right now. (Which, ironically, disempowers me and undermines my efforts and reduces my chance of “success”.)

This is the story—and the reality—of “try”.

Now—I know Yoda knew this. But I think it’s useful to recognize the reality of “try”—because then I remember I can do something about my experience—in any given moment.

When I notice I’m feeling down or stressed about something I’m doing, I remember, “Oh yeah, I’m ‘trying’ again.” And I can then choose to either keep buying into the story that my value comes from the outcome—or not.

I can either choose to stay in the fear of future failure—or I can break through my fear, come back to the present, and really get into—and enjoy—what I’m doing. Right now.

(The paradox, of course, is that as soon as I let go of my need for a specific result, I am more likely to actually produce that result. But I can’t fake it. I can’t let go of my need to try in order to get that specific result. It won’t work—I can’t out-fake the Universe…)

So when I’m doing something that I love (like coaching or teaching) but am feeling stressed, I remind myself that I’m not “trying” to do something—I AM doing something. And then I’m back in my joy!

Tell me—what are you “trying” to do?

I was moved, today, as I pondered Richard Bach’s quote, “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.” But not for the reason you might think.

It’s such an apt metaphor for our world as so many of our structures and systems are in breakdown—and need to transform from unworkable and unsustainable to something new, if we are to survive.

For those of you who may not be familiar with the details of the metaphor, I’m including it here (courtesy of Norie Huddle, author of Butterfly):

It’s a perfect metaphor—the caterpillar as we have been, “plowing destructively through its ecosystem”, and the butterfly as we might be, “with all its capabilities and colors”.

And the imaginal cells coming together, in the face of great opposition, to create an entirely new being out of the mush that is the caterpillar’s body.

I was moved, however, not because this reminded me that something so plodding and destructive can transform into something so radiant and delicate and free (although that IS beautiful).

I was moved because the caterpillar is no less deserving of life and love than the butterfly. It is perfectly what it is. There is nothing wrong with it.”

It’s so easy these days to get caught up in everything that’s wrong—and everything we’ve done wrong. If we but glance back through history, we see all kinds of horrors that we’ve committed—to each other, and to our planet. We see the fear-based ways of thinking and behaviour that have caused us such suffering—and still do.

What moves me is that, even with all of this, we—the caterpillar—are deserving of love. And even more than that—it is ONLY our love and compassion for ourselves, and our planet, that will save us; that will bring us together, as imaginal cells, to break through and bring forth from deep inside of us the beautiful, radiant and free beings that we truly are.

Will you join me in bringing love and compassion to ourselves, each other, and our planet?

We are the imaginal cells. It is up to us.

This was (is) an important distinction for me, because the Breakthrough Process I work with—and really the paradigm of my life—rests on the idea that, in any moment, we are either choosing Love (acceptance) or Fear (resistance).

And what I mean by “acceptance” is recognizing things as they are, in this moment (as opposed to “judging things to be favourable”).

I call this Love (rather than resisting—which I call Fear). It’s this space of Love that creates the possibility for something new. And gives us the power to make it so.

After posting the article, a friend of mine pointed out how difficult it is—when we’re in a place of Fear—to choose Love. He posed the question:

If Love and Fear cannot co-exist, then how is Love (i.e. acceptance) even possible—if Fear (i.e. resistance) is present?”

And I agree—Love and Fear cannot co-exist. If we use the metaphor of darkness being Fear, and light being Love, then choosing Love is like lighting a candle in a dark room. As soon as there is Love, Fear vanishes. Just like darkness in the face of light, it disappears—that’s just the way it is.

So the question becomes, “How do I light my candle?” If I’m in a place of Fear, then what does it take for me to choose Love? What does it take to bring Love into my dark place?

I was thinking about this, and then it hit me! What if what it takes is the gift of another’s Love? The experience of Love from someone else?

I may not need the physical or verbal expression of Love in the moment; it may simply be the memory—the possibility—of Love that lights my candle and chases away the darkness.

But maybe sometimes I DO need the actual physical or verbal embrace of another human being for me to remember—and experience—Love.

Just to be clear—I’m not saying that another’s Love is ALL we need. No. We still need to accept it. We need to be willing to hold out our unlit candle to receive the new flame. We are still ultimately responsible for choosing Love or Fear in this way.

But sometimes it does take the gift of another’s Love—another’s candle—to light our own.”

I like that.