Getting It Right

I don’t know about you—but when I do something, I want to get it right. And you might be the same way. And of course there’s nothing wrong with that.

Except if I get stressed about it. Then, it’s not such a good thing.

But when that happens, I know it’s become more of a “need” than a “want”. Like I need to get it right—I need things to work out a certain way (to be happy).

And of course I know THAT doesn’t work (I’m a Life Coach, after all—duh), but sometimes knowing makes no difference.

Like lately—I noticed that I’ve been trying really hard to get this whole social media marketing thing down. (Ah—notice the word “try”? That’s always a sure sign that something’s up.)

Trying to figure out if it’s worth taking the time to build a Google+ profile, trying to make my blog posts more visible, wondering if I should create a group in LinkedIn (oops—there’s the word “should”—another sign something’s up…), etc…

Now again, there’s nothing wrong with having goals and taking certain actions to achieve certain results. It’s just the feeling stressed part that doesn’t work so well.

So I took a closer look and dug a little deeper to discover what was REALLY causing me stress; and—surprise, surprise—there was my attachment to the outcome.

I was putting “getting it right” before my joy.”

(The irony here is that social media is all about connecting with people—which is what I care about, and what brings me great joy!)

Sheesh!

Through experience, I’ve come to the understanding that attaching my feelings to external outcomes doesn’t work very well. What I didn’t know was there’s a bunch of scientific evidence for it, as well.

Like this TED talk by Shawn Achor that I just saw. It’s brilliant—it’s all about the HUGE value of (and scientific evidence for) reversing the “success first, then happiness” formula that most of us have had deeply ingrained in our psyche.

For example, did you know that dopamine doesn’t only make us feel happier—it also turns on all our learning centres and makes us more efficient, more intelligent, and more likely to BE successful at whatever we’re doing.

Choosing to shift our point of view and get happy BEFORE we’re successful actually helps us BE successful!”

So—I’ve turned this thing around (my social media marketing situation). I’ve shifted my point of view—by first acknowledging what I’m grateful for (this is usually where I start).

For example, I’m grateful for the opportunity to build a coaching and diving business that I enjoy and am passionate about; and for having people in my life that I can share what’s important to me (that’s you).

So I’ll continue to just keep doing my best—and the outcome will be the outcome. And in the meantime, I’ll be joyful. ‘Cause joy is, after all, the point!

What about you—is there anywhere in your life where putting the “success” cart before the “joy” horse is causing you stress?

If so, I’d like to hear about it. I’ve found that sharing can be a huge help in getting clear on what’s going on for us. And it’s a great way to connect with—and bring us closer to—each other.

Thanks for sharing...